Business Babble

Sometimes I wonder how journalists writing about business can stomach their jobs.  How do they ingest, digest and regurgitate all the information glutting our psychic arenas?

When I initially started my blog, I was guilty of churning out some pretty arid stuff.  In self-parody perhaps, today I took a minute and spun some marketing babble with a few almost random words and phrases, but the result is so typical of business writing. Consider the result:

“Cross-fertilization of initiatives between marketing/sales silos will increase ROI, while behavioral marketing, gauging click-through rates, combined with viral marketing, corporate wikis inform analysis for new ventures directed at turnkey solutions, embracing consumer life cycles and subsequent conversion rates.”  Yikes!  It’s no wonder that I’m in search of fun new phrases that delight the imagination and lighten the scene. 

I found a new term today…“vampire creativity,”  which describes the after-effect of an ad or commercial that is so creative and entertaining that people remember the spot, but not the actual product.  How ’bout this new one, coined by Glenn H. Myers: to scrape a toad: borrowing something from a co-worker’s desk without permission.  Only problem is, there’s nothing worth borrowing from my current coworker’s spaces.

I had a struggle when I joined my current employment venture and was requested (mandated actually) to write emails without contractions, and prefaced by “Dear ______”.  Very formal, and stilted if you ask me.  But since many of the recipients of the organization’s communiques do not speak English as their primary language, I conceded to the request, as well as the instruction to write practically ever verb as if a committee were performing the action, in order for the organization’s four employees to appear as a league of mighty and helpful recruits, instead of the small band of struggling individuals which I joined as director of communications.  To think that the Better Business Writing class I embraced previously which sought to cut to the chase and implored writers to write like they speak was being buried for anachronistic stuffiness.  Sigh!

Published in: on September 25, 2007 at 7:43 pm  Leave a Comment  

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